A little light

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have been dealing some depression the past few weeks.  So, on Friday I headed off to my weekly volunteer session sorting clothes for people in need.  Although I was still feeling down, the depression had lifted enough that I was also feeling a little....bitchy. They say depression is anger turned inward, and I often find that the first thing I feel when I start to "feel" again, is the anger I had turned inward.   So,  I vented a bit to my long suffering friend on the way to the centre and then decided to try my hardest to be pleasant to be around when we got there.

One of the first bags I opened had a Minnie Mouse headband in it.  You know the kind, with the huge pink and white polka dot bow?   I immediately put it on, hoping to get a laugh from my friend, which it did, and I left it on and went about my business.  Forgot all about the headband.  A while later I opened the new box of garbage bags.  We use huge garbage bags at the centre and the ones I opened were very small...the kind you might put in a waste paper basket.  So, I took the bag down to the powers that be and said they were not acceptable and did they have any bigger ones that we could use thank you very much.  (I really was nice about it, honest).  And they of course, got me the right sized bags.  And so I got back to work.

A few minutes later, it hit me.  I was still wearing the headband!!   So, what they saw was a perturbed woman coming down the hall towards them, wearing a Minnie Mouse bow.   No one said a word about it.  I guess they see all kinds of things at this place, or my demeanour that day didn't lend itself to questioning.  At any rate, I felt a little embarrassed and I asked them about it and they said yes they did notice, but they thought I looked really cute and we all had a good laugh.

At the end of my shift, the woman in charge told me to take the headband home, because they couldn't give it out.   So I did.  My friend encouraged me to wear it whenever I feel down.   So, now that headband hangs on the door knob of my bathroom cabinet and I put it on every day when I am doing my makeup and brushing my teeth.  And you know what?  It makes me smile every time.   And I can feel my mood slowly improving.  I am not saying it's entirely because of the headband, there are a lot of other things helping me right now; good friends, some rest and a couple of really good therapy sessions.  But, it occurred to me, that during the past few months I had lost my sense of playfulness, which is really quite alive in me.  My inner child has a rich and full life!   And putting on that headband ignited that in me again and it did wonders for my spirits and no doubt brightened the moment for those around me that day.  Simple as that.  A small thing.  But a big thing too.