Are we all Victims?

I don't like the term victim.  It sounds weak, and helpless.  And yet it seems that everyone is a victim these days.  (I also don't like the term "these days" because it makes me feel like an old curmudgeon).  Everyone is suffering from something.  We will gladly tell all our woes to anyone who is willing to listen.  And then we are forced to listen to theirs in turn.   Sometimes we even try to outdo each other with our victim story.   "I had the flu for a week."  " oh I had the flu for two weeks and I almost died".   And it seems we want to do that without first offering consolation to the other person.  We are victims of poor health, and most of us could overcome that if we wanted to with a healthy lifestyle change, but it's far easier to give in to the victim mentality and throw up our hands in despair and say "I can't help it, I have______ (fill in the blank with the name of the syndrome )".  We use our syndrome's of which we are victims to give us an out for living our lives in the best way.

People seem hell bent on taking offense. They are victims of language.  They search news stories, and Facebook postings, and blogs, trying to find something they can take offense at. They read comments searching for insult.  And it gets ridiculous.  Recently I heard that they were changing the name of the Trans Canada highway because it offended trans gender people.  Of course this was not true, but when I first heard it I was not surprised.  I was astonished and a bit annoyed, but not surprised.  But it was an example of how far we are taking things in our society.  Our victim mentality is slowly eroding our language and our freedom of speech.  We have to walk on eggshells and be politically correct lest someone feels victimized by what we say.

We teach our children to be victims as well.  We excuse behaviours that are unacceptable because the child has some syndrome.   The most ridiculous one I have heard?  No longer is a child a brat.  Now he has "Oppositional Defiance Disorder".  He is a victim of this and cannot help himself and therefore should not be accountable.  It's INSANE.  

I have had times when I have felt like a victim and I would blame others in my life for my own unhappiness.  But eventually I had to realize that I was NOT a victim, I had choices, and I had control of my life.  I have many chronic health conditions.  But I don't feel like a victim.  They are challenges, absolutely, but they don't give me an out when it comes to being a productive and useful member of society.  It would so easy to play the victim card.  But I don't want to be that person.

Don't get me wrong,I realize there are real victims. People who have had things happen to them that are tragic and totally out of their control.  Terminal illnesses, violent crimes, serious accidents, and natural catastrophe's to name a few.  But even in these situations, people have a choice as to how they handle their situation.  Are they going to wail and moan oh poor me, or are they going to try and move forward and become strong again?  

I hope I am not coming across as a cold person. I am not, I am very compassionate and caring.  But, I really think that before we complain about our victimization we should take a look at people who really are victims in this world, and consider ourselves truly blessed.

It's Winter, Deal With It.

They start as soon as the first snow flake falls and gather forces over the winter, until by spring their numbers are vast and their posts on Facebook even more annoying than ever.  Skiiers?  Pro tobogganers?  Snow birds?  Nope.  I call them Weather Whiners.  Those sniveling, irritating, poor excuses for Canadians who cannot deal with the fact that we have seasons here, four of them,  And one of them happens to be our longest and most difficult...winter.  And while we don't always get spring, and sometimes not much of a summer, we always get winter.  And it's always cold.  And it always snows.  And it's always difficult, often depressing and frustrating to get around in.  But it's inevitable and it's part of our life here in the Great White North.  So, what is with all the whining? 

 It needs to stop.  I have many friends who are guilty of this.  They are otherwise pleasant, kind, well adjusted people but they lose their shit every winter and become obnoxious from November to April. First it's the cold and the endless wishing for sun, and fun, and tropical climates, complete with pictures.  After that comes the bitching about shoveling.  One of my friends posts every day "Is it April yet?"  No, no it's not April yet, and you know that, you have a calendar just like the rest of us.  It won't be April for another two months.  Enough already.  No amount of whining will make April come faster, make the snow melt, warm the temperature.  

To be fair, sometimes venting makes it easier to deal with things that are out of our control.  And Facebook is a good place to do that because there are always those who will jump on your whiny bandwagon and support you with likes, or emoji's, or whines of their own.  But every time I see one of those posts  a wave of irritation washes over me and it's all I can do to stop myself from posting a comment urging them to shut the fuck up or move south.  

I try to be compassionate and understand their problem, especially about the shoveling...after all I live in an apartment and don't have the same issues with snow as they do living in a house.  I go from my apartment to my underground parking to my destination with little exposure to the elements.  I park far enough below ground that my car is usually warmer than zero when I get in.  The walks and driveway are always blown out by the superintendent.  My challenges are the clogged city side streets that people still insist on parking on as if there were no snow.  Intersections that are full of the combined efforts of the snowploughs all meeting right where I want to turn.   AND I have a dog, a very small dog, who refuses to poop if the snow is touching her bum, refuses to walk if there is a crystal of salt on the sidewalk and so has made made my balcony as mine field of little packages.  

However, I don't post all that on Facebook.  I like winter.  I like snow. I like the excitement of a good snowstorm, once I am sure all my loved ones are safe.  I love the way the snow looks on trees.  I love the starkness of bare branches against blue sky.  I love the crisp, cold air in my lungs. I used to love shoveling until my back told me that was no longer something I should ever do.  I do get a little tired of it by the end of April, because once the calendar turns to April 1, I think the weather should warm up.  But if it doesn't I can roll with that. The universe will unfold as it should.  Spring will come.  The weather will warm up.  

And then the Weather Whiners can start bitching about how hot it is.