Procrastination is an adrenaline rush

I was going to write a blog about procrastination but I kept putting it off.  (rim shot).  I have all kinds of jokes about procrastination.  I will tell you later. (rim shot)  There was going to be a Procrastinator's Anonymous meeting but they kept putting it off.  (hook)

Anyway, there are many reasons people procrastinate.  They don't want to do the thing they are supposed to do, they are afraid to do the thing they are supposed to do, their imagination has made the task seem worse than it is, OR they get an adrenaline rush from pushing the envelope to see just how close they can come to deadline, or crisis, and still make it.  That is pretty much where I fall most of the time.  Not always, but most of the time.

Whether it is putting gas in my car, getting ready for work, doing my taxes, or renewing my driver's license, I almost NEVER do anything well ahead of time.  Being an ADD adult, I could use that as an excuse, and it's a good one, but...it's not really true if I am honest with myself.  Take my car for instance.  I have a car that tells me how many kilometres I can drive before I run out of gas.  But I think its lying.  I think I have way more than it says.  And because my car is a hybrid, it is really not a good idea to let it run out of gas.  It's more complicated than just getting a jerry can of gas to get it going again.  It involves a tow to the dealer and a possible expensive repair. While it is true that a hybrid will switch from gas to battery in slow traffic, it WILL NOT switch to battery when there is no gas.   So...many is the time I have prayed to  a God I don't believe in to get me to the gas pump before my engine stops because I have been driving on zero km for a while. It's a rush akin to high stakes gambling.  I would imagine.

The other area where my procrastination is at it's best  is when I a getting ready to go out.  Some part of my brain thinks I only need 20 minutes to shower, get dressed and eat, while the sensible adult part of my brain knows that it takes me almost half an hour, allowing for elevator wait time and uncooperative dog business.  But I push it.  Now this is an area where I am doing my best to overcome it, because my lack of punctuality affects other people.  And that's not fair. It's okay to have a foible (isn't that a great word?) but it's not okay if it pisses off friends and family.

For the most part the consequences of my procrastination have never been dire enough for me to mend my ways completely.  I sailed through school completing major projects the night before a due date, or writing book reports in the class before my English class and my marks were good.   But I know that the things I do could be done SO much better if I took the time to do them with all my heart, rather than frantically to reach a deadline.  And I could find better ways to get that adrenaline high.  And no there is no high for me in getting things done early.   Boring.

I procrastinate a lot in my writing.  That's a whole other story though and I will tell you about that another time.

Wednesday January 16, 2015

I have been wanting to write a blog for a long time.  Back when blogging was fairly new and not everyone and their brother had one.  But I kept putting it off, or starting one and never publishing it, or talking about it endlessly and never doing anything about it.

 A few minor things held me back.  First of all, I was convinced no one would be interested in what I had to say about anything.  Second, I thought my blog should have a focus and I have so many thoughts in my head how could I possibly streamline to just one.  Third, would I be able to sustain a blog and keep the interest of anyone crazy enough to want to read it?

Finally I decided the time had come to blog or get off the pot.  I have recently resurrected my writing aspirations and am working on a short story and a novel.  Everyone knows that you can't be a good writer without constant procrastination.  So, what better way to procrastinate writing what matters and yet still write.  When people ask if I wrote today I can answer yes.  They don't need to know I wrote a blog.

So, welcome to Ponderings.  Ponderings is a play on my name, also what I call all the minutiae that floats or races through my brain on a daily, and often nightly basis.  Sometimes I will write a rant.  Sometimes I will write a thoughtful piece.  Sometimes it will be humourous, sometimes sad.  Hopefully it will be interesting and it will always be honest and from the heart..

Right now I am sitting in a coffee shop with my laptop and my writer friend.  Yes, I have become one of "those" people who sit in cafe's looking all special with their laptops and their lattes.   However, I am not a latte drinker, or even a coffee drinker for that matter.  I refuse to go to Starbucks, preferring instead local coffee shops with colourful characters who may or may not appear in my novel.

I want to write and I want to write well and get published.  I don't want to be famous, I don't want to do book tours or promotions.   I want to make enough money to keep me clothed and fed in my dotage.  I am writing a lesbian romance/thriller at this time and I know Harlequin has a new genre that it would fit in to perfectly.  Good lesbian fiction is hard to find.  I want to change that.

BUT first things first, I must write.  Not just blogs and emails, but real writing.  So I am going to do that right now.   After I check Facebook and take my turn in all my games.