Florence Finnegan
Her name was Florence Finnegan. Her mother was a nurse, passionate about her
calling, who wanted to name her daughter after her idol, Florence Nightingale.
All of the bedtime stories Florence heard growing up were about the brave
nurse. And she was expected to
demonstrate the same traits. Florence was
never given a nickname. "Florence
Nightingale didn't use a nickname"
her mother scolded whenever Florence asked to be called something else,
usually Mary. Florence knew this was not
true, she knew Florence Nightingale was known as the Lady with the Lamp, but
she didn't mention this to her mother because her mother hated know-
it-alls. So she was just Florence. Not
Flo or Florry.
Florence Finnegan was chubby, freckled, redheaded, and cursed
with a farsightedness that required thick glasses that magnified her mud brown
eyes enormously. She was not active or
social, preferring to spend her time curled up on her bed, alone in her room
with a book and her ginger cat, Spot.
Florence Finnegan 's red hair wasn't the pretty red like Anne of Green
Gables. It was carrot red and wiry
curly. Her mother kept it plaited
tightly to keep it under control. She
stayed out of the sun as much as possible to avoid more freckles than she
actually had or worse, a bright red sunburn that would clash with her hair. Florence Finnegan was eight years old and in
Grade Three..
You would think that someone like Florence would be the
object of bullying for all sorts of reasons.
Her shyness, her weight, her hair colour, her freckles, even her
name. But Florence was invisible. She
had a force field around her that seemed to repel the bullies. A deep seated self possession, a strength
that even at such a young age protected Florence by sending out a message that
she would not be messed with. She had
never had to prove herself to anyone.
Because no one really noticed her.
Hard as that is to believe. She
was quiet and preferred her own company.
It didn't bother her to be this way although sometimes she really longed
to be liked.
Sometimes she wished she was like Kathy Hawkins. Florence was in love with Kathy Hawkins as
was just about every other kid in her class.
Kathy had long silky blond hair, clear ivory skin and sparkling blue
eyes. She was everything Florence was
not. Florence sometimes longed to be a
person like that. She would imagine,
alone at night in her bed, that if she died she would come back as Kathy
Hawkins. It was silly she knew, as
Kathy was already Kathy, not a lost soul waiting for a dead Florence to inhabit
her body. At any rate, Florence never
made her feelings known to Kathy. She
was not the type of girl to curry favour from other people. Unlike her classmates, Florence didn't clamour for Kathy's
attention at recess, bringing her flowers, offering her key positions in
games. Florence preferred to worship her
from afar. Her invisibility made it possible to be near Kathy without being noticed by her.
When I say Florence was invisible, obviously I am speaking
metaphorically. She was visible of
course. But people never thought of
Florence. Valentine's were few in her
little construction paper heart. She got
Valentine's from classmates who's mothers insisted their children send one to
everyone in the class. Her name took too long to write and didn't fit on
Valentine's cards and birthday invitations.
Because she was silent and self sufficient she didn't draw attention to
herself. If Florence was in school in
this day and age she might have been singled out as 'exceptional' or she might have drawn the attention of her
teacher because she was too quiet and withdrawn. But back in those days, the quiet and meek
flew under the radar.
Florence's life
changed the day the teacher announced that the class would be forming a choir
and would be performing at a music festival later in the year. Every child in the class would be required
to be in this choir. Florence's heart
leaped into her chest. A choir! Florence loved to sing. She sang every chance she got...when she was
alone. Her mother had heard her once
and told Florence not to show off. She
was to be humble and modest. It was not
right to be proud of her gifts. It was
not right for her to be going around singing all the time. So she kept it quiet. But now, the teacher said they all had to
sing. Surely her mother wouldn't mind
her singing with a bunch of others. She
decided to keep it to herself for as long as she could just in case her mother
found a reason to have her removed from the choir.
The class was put into two sections. Soprano and Alto. All the high voices were sopranos and the low
voices were altos. That was all the
harmony the grade three classes were
capable of. Florence watched as the
teacher tested each student to see where they would fit. Typically, at their age, most of the
children would be sopranos, but there were a few altos, mostly boys. Everyone had been chosen and placed when the
teacher noticed Florence standing there.
"Florence! Come
over here and let me hear you...."
she said, distractedly arranging herself on the piano bench.
Florence walked slowly over.
The rest of the class was talking amongst themselves and acting unruly
they way children will when the teacher is occupied.
The teacher played the scale and Florence sang along. As the teacher played each note Florence's
courage grew and she began to sing with more confidence. The teacher stopped playing and looked at
Florence as if seeing her for the first time.
Her classmates had grown quiet as Florence sang the notes of the scale,
and then the next scale, and the next showing a range unheard of in a child so
young.
"Florence, you are lucky enough to have a choice of
soprano or alto. Which would you like to
sing?" the teacher asked .
Florence was not used to being asked anything. No one had ever asked her preference for
anything. She was at a loss. And then she looked at Kathy Hawkins sitting
there in the soprano section.
"I would like to be a soprano" she said quietly. And she went over and stood beside Kathy who
moved over to make room.
They began to sing the first song they would be
learning. As the group sang in the cacophonous way of young children, one
voice stood out. One voice sang the
melody in a voice clear and sweet. She
knew the song, she loved the song, she owned the song in her heart.
"Florence Finnegan! " the teacher exclaimed "You sing like a
Nightingale!!"
Florence did not know what to do with this information. Florence the Nightingale?? Even at eight years old Florence could appreciate the irony
of her situation.
From that day forward her classmates seemed to notice her a
bit more. They seemed puzzled at first.
Where had this child come from? How could such a beautiful sound come
from....well, from Florence? But it
did. Florence didn't become popular by any
means. It wasn't something she wanted
and she didn't encourage the attentions of her classmates and teachers. But for those moments when Florence sang, she imagined that she could be a Kathy, or a
Susan, or a Karen.
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