Same old dull Routine? Not for me thanks.

Having a set routine in your life is supposed to be very beneficial to people who struggle, as I do, with Adult Attention Deficit.  But what the experts don't really realize, or address, is the fact that in order to have a set routine, we need someone to set up a routine for us, and then someone to hold us to it.  We are incapable of doing it ourselves.  I have tried many times to make myself a routine.  I write it down, I have good intentions, and it lasts for the morning.  Because by the time I am finished my morning "routine"  I am on to other things and never get back to that paper that I wrote the routine down on.  I pretty much bounce through my days like a ball in a pinball machine.  You can tell by looking at my place what I have accomplished because there is invariably a trail of clues.  Dishes sitting in a sink full of water that has turned cold, laundry in the cart that didn't quite make it to the laundry room, the vacuum cleaner out, but never turned on.

The biggest part of the problem is distraction.  I will start doing one thing and then something else will catch my eye and off I go.  I am like a little child..ooh shiny!  I take medication for this but all it really does is make me more aware that I am not focusing, but doesn't really help me focus.  I have books that tell me how to cope with my ADD but...it's not that I don't WANT to improve myself and make better use of my time, it's that I find it much easier to fly by the seat of my pants.  And the tips in the books are only as effective as I make them.  It encourages me to make lists...well if I could do that I wouldn't need to read the book because I would be organized!

When my daughter was born a friend told me that the best thing I could do is get her on a routine.  I had NO idea what she meant.  Seriously.  I thought she meant a schedule...like breakfast at 7, nap at 10 etc.  But what she meant was ....breakfast, fresh air, snack, nap, lunch, nap, dinner, bedtime.  A routine.  Things happening in the same order every day.  Needless to say my parenting was sadly lacking in any sort of routine that didn't have outside pressure.  I could get the kids to school  and to various activities but often just in time or slightly late.  Their father was the stickler for the routine,   And I found it terribly restricting.  But also very necessary.

So now here I am well in to my middle age, now retired, and on my own, and I am aimless.  I am very busy, but when its downtime, it's wasted time.  No routine.  No set time to do my writing.  No set day for laundry.  I visited my mother last summer in Victoria and her life is very structured. My stepfather is retired military.  The same thing happens at the same time every day, the same day of the week, and even their meals are routine, Monday is stir fry, Friday is pizza etc...and nothing varies.   I found it comforting in a way because I knew what to expect, but I often found myself chafing at the confines of it all.  And the tedium.

Anyway, R is for routine.