June

June

I am taking a departure from COVID-19 posts today to talk about my friend June.

I met June several years ago at a birthday party for a mutual friend.   She was sitting by herself and I was struck by her dignity and grace.   My partner and I sat and talked to her for quite a while.  At that time June was about 91 and the macular degeneration she was she dealing with was not as bad as it would eventually get, but she still had a difficult time seeing.  We enjoyed our conversation that day and then I didn’t see her again until my friend had a small birthday celebration for her when she was 93.  I was impressed at how sharp and engaging she was and even more impressed by the fact that she still lived on her own even though she was legally blind.  She was interested in everyone and loved to hear about our lives. 

I lost touch with June again until I started to attend the Unitarian church and discovered it was her church as well.  She invited me out to lunch and we became fast friends.   We meet on a regular basis and go for lunch and do whatever errands June needs done.   Usually, we go to the library.   We enjoy each other’s company and there are a lot of laughs.  Our almost 50 year age difference is never an issue.  June is ageless to me.  She is so bright and so engaging that it’s easy to forget she is in her late 90’s.  She always insists on buying me lunch and then paying me for taking her on her errands.  No matter how much I protest.  And if I don’t take the money, she leaves it on the seat of my car while I am getting her walker out of the trunk.  She knows I can use the money and her generosity is much appreciated.

When June turned 95 her two children threw her a huge birthday party with all of her friends and extended family in attendance.  Children, grandchildren and great children, nieces, nephews, great-nieces, great-nephews, friends old and new, we all gathered to celebrate this incredible woman.  I was so touched to see all the love and affection her family showed her and the lengths they had gone to make her day special.

June has had her challenges in life.  She was a social worker for the Children’s Aid Society and dealt with adoptions.  She’d seen a lot of things during her career but she never talked about it. Her husband passed away suddenly one New year’s Eve leaving her to raise their two children on her own.   Then when she was 70 she woke up one morning and couldn’t see.  There was no warning, no gradual diminishing of her vision, so stripes, or dark spots.  Just the loss of vision.   Her ophthalmologist said they had never seen a case like hers.   But it never stopped her.  June continued to live on her own and she worked for a few more years after that till her vision became too much of an issue. 

She has always accepted her loss of vision with great humour and we’ve had some funny situations because of it.  One day I went to her apartment for tea and she told me she had been trying and trying to light this candle but just couldn’t get it to light and she was so frustrated.   I had a look at it.  It was a battery-operated candle …that was melted on top from her repeated attempts to light it!  Another time she came out to my car and when I got out to put her walker in the trunk there was a pair black of underwear on the seat..!  She couldn’t see them because they were the same colour as the walker seat.  She laughed and said she must have been on her way to the laundry and got sidetracked.   It was always funny to her and she accepted help graciously.  More than once I have had to correct her eyebrows for her.  She draws them on as many elderly women do and sometimes she looks very surprised and sometimes quite lopsided.  But most of the time she looks well put together, she is always dressed nicely with her hair done and her makeup on.  You would not know to look at her that she has no vision.  June says that’s a disadvantage to her because she can’t see people to talk to them and they don’t realize she can’t see them. 

I am writing about June in the past tense but she is still very much alive at age 99, although things have changed dramatically for her since February.   She woke up one morning unable to walk.  She was rushed to the hospital and has never been back home.   They have been unable to find out what is causing her excruciating pain but she is now able to walk.  It took several weeks for them to get her pain under control. She has lost more sight and is now totally blind. Whenever I visited her in the hospital her spirits were always good.  June has the wonderful ability to roll with the punches and just accept what comes her way.   She says she has been blessed with good health and has had a good life.  I asked her what they think is wrong with her back and she said what’s wrong is that she is 99.

After being discharged from the hospital she went to live in Aberdeen Gardens which is a senior’s residence in west Hamilton.  I have not been to see her since this pandemic but I do call her every couple of days.   I miss her more than I can say.  I miss our outings.  We still have good conversations but there’s not much to say because neither of us is doing much these days. 

I admire this woman so much.  She is always upbeat, never complains and she treats me like a daughter.   That is not always a good thing because she scolds me about my weight, but I know it’s out of love and not judgement so I take it from her.  I am looking forward to June 3 when she turns 100.  I am hoping the pandemic is over and I can actually see her and celebrate with her.

I have always loved senior’s even as a child.  I find them interesting and funny and just great to be around.  I know so many people who don’t want to hang out with “a bunch of old people” but I really think they are missing out on something special.  I know I don’t have much longer with June, but I will always have a special place for her in my heart.