Zoom

Zoom

Well I can’t believe I have made it to end of the month.  The last three letters have been very challenging and I am happy I got through it.  I want to thank everyone who stopped in and read my blog.  I hope you keep coming back to read my stories during StoryADayMay.

One of the ways I have been able to maintain contact with people is through video chat.  I have used the Facebook Messenger video chat with my granddaughters who are 6, 4.5 and 3.  They are always shy and not really talkative and the youngest really just likes to play with the filters on the phone that make her look like a bunny or a pizzahead.  But I still get to see them and hear their voices so it’s all good. 

 Zoom is another platform that has become very popular during this quarantine because it has the capacity to include hundreds of people.  We have been having our church services on Zoom on Sundays.  It’s been really good to be able to see people who don’t usually get out to real church for various reasons.  Now they can attend without leaving the house.  I like it because I can scroll through all the faces and watch how they act on camera.  It’s perfect for a people watcher like me and it’s totally discreet.  No one knows I am watching them.   I try not to think too hard about the fact that I am also being watched. 

 

You can also see your own face on a little square on the screen.  This can be both unnerving and enlightening.   That face you make that you think is cute?  Now you can see that maybe it’s not. I know I have a bitchy resting face but I didn’t realize how bitchy till I saw it on camera so now I make a point to smile more.   What is a bitchy resting face?  Well, your resting face is the face you make when you are not doing anything.  The face you wear most of the time.   Some people just naturally look bitchy or sad when their face is resting.  I do because my mouth naturally pulls down into a frown.  Even if I totally relax all my face muscles it still doesn’t look friendly.  So, I have to be conscious of that lest people think I am miserable which is generally not true.   Seeing myself on camera has also taught me that my face registers all my emotions even if my mouth is not expressing them.  I would never be a good poker player.   So we learn a lot about ourselves and others through Zoom.  

The host of a Zoom meeting has the ability to mute everyone’s microphones which is a real blessing because nothing is worse than 100 people talking all at once.  You can unmute your own mic when it’s your turn to speak.  Or you can type in a chat box at the bottom of screen which no one reads because it’s too distracting.  You also have the option of turning off your camera and just listening.  You show up as a black square with your name on it.   I think it makes you look either unfriendly or electronically challenged…or maybe just private, but you do you.

Zoom meetings have an interesting format.  For the first 5 minutes, there is a lot of  “Can you hear me now?”  “Can you guys see me?”  “Where’s Fred, Fred your camera isn’t turned on”  “Oh no, we’ve lost Ethel..”.  And then everyone gets sorted out and the meeting begins. Sometimes we lose people during the meeting, sometimes their mic isn’t working and we have to strain to hear them.  But for the most part, it’s a smooth way to connect.  You don’t have to worry about someone’s perfume or garlic breath and you can be as comfortable as it’s possible to be while you are at home and on camera. And the last words in every Zoom meeting are always “now how do I end this call?”

I have found that these Zoom meetings leave me feeling drained and headachy.   I thought it was just me, but apparently, it’s a thing.  Apparently, it takes a lot of energy to be present on a Zoom conference.  You are self-conscious about how you look so you are tense and maybe even distracted and might miss something that was said,  you might be straining to hear someone, you might be frustrated at trying to speak yourself.  It can be pretty intense and I find that after half an hour I have had enough. 

I am not looking forward to “peopling” again when this is all over, but I have no desire to limit my contact to just Zoom and other video chat platforms.  As convenient as it is, it doesn’t really replace person to person contact.  In a large meeting, you are just another square on the screen.  You miss the social cues and body language that help us to connect. But imagine what this whole pandemic would be like if we didn’t have these tools available to us.  Imagine if it happened pre-internet?   Boggles the mind doesn’t it?  So until we meet again, maybe I’ll see you on Zoom.