Story A Day # 17 Unmasked

I had been in quarantine f0r ten weeks when I jumped at the chance to join a team of mask makers.   It wasn’t that I was bored, and I knew staying at home was the best way to stop the spread, but I felt I needed to do something more.  Something that would make a difference to people struggling to cope.   It was a fluke that I ended up volunteering to make masks for the vulnerable population.   A chance remark that led to an opportunity and I was over the top excited about it.

I should probably mention that I hadn’t sewn anything in decades and I didn’t own a sewing machine.   These were trivial details apparently as a sewing machine and all the materials I needed were delivered to me by my friend Bruce the next day.  I couldn’t wait to get started.  Oh, I should also probably mention that I have a long history of signing up for things impulsively and they usually end with me in tears and disappointing people.  However, I was sure this would not happen in this case.  I mean how hard could it be to make a mask?  There wasn’t much to them, a piece of material and some straps.   Easy peasy right?

The first thing I had to do was make t-shirt yarn out of a whole t-shirt.  There was a video for that.  I watched it and watched it and ended up with a big mess because instructions baffle me.  I ended up with a bit of yarn from the body of the t-shirt.  Good enough.  I was ready to move on to the mask.

I watched the video Bruce sent and it looked pretty straight forward.  There were pleats but I figured I could handle that.  Lorraine made it look so easy in the video. After watching it a few times I was ready to go.

It took me no time at all to remember how to thread the sewing machine and get the thread up from the bobbin.  I was impressed with myself to say the least.  This was going to be a snap. 

The trouble started right away.   The material I was using was shop quality paper towels.   I had to cut two pieces into 8x8” squares.  Seems like a no brainer right?  Wrong.  I tried marking the measurements, drawing lines on the material as a guide, and even tried using my scrapbooking cutter.  I could not get the damn things square.   I finally made a template which proved just as difficult so I had my partner make one for me.   It helped.  But I had a really hard time getting the two plys to stay together and doing them separately resulted in the sides not meeting.  I did my best and was ready to go on to the next stage.

This part was actually quite easy.   Place a piece of pipe cleaner at the top and fold the fabric over and sew.  But you had to remember to leave a space for the straps at each end.  My ADD makes paying attention and focusing very difficult.  After several tries I remembered to leave the space and was ready to move on.

The pleats totally undid me.  I won’t go into the boring details.  I stuck with it and made a dozen passable masks.  I called Bruce for more t-shirt yarn and gave him my contributions.   I asked for feedback and the dear sweet man, as tactfully as he could told me they were not up to the standard they were looking for.  He brought me two rolls of lesser quality shop towels and a bag of yarn the next day.  He suggested I practice just making the mask part as the shop towels were not expensive.  He also gave me a finished mask to look at.  I was sure I was going to be able to do this right.

I practised and practised.  Every mask I made had a flaw.  I  was beyond frustrated.   But I persisted with encouragement and help from my partner, and I finally got a few perfect examples and was ready to move on to the real thing.

Let me just say this.   It was a disaster from start to finish.  The pleats confounded me, the straps annoyed me and the whole thing was just an ordeal.  I felt like the miller’s daughter in the fairy tale Rumplestiltskin whose father said she could spin straw into gold but she couldn’t.  I had said I could sew these masks and I couldn’t.  I need a little elf to come and do them for me so I could save face with my friends.   But obviously, that was not going to happen.

Finally today I reached the breaking point.   For every good mask I made, there were three I had to throw away.  I was wasting the material and my time.  I had a mini meltdown and finally conceded I could no longer do this to myself.    I contacted Bruce and apologized profusely for letting the team down.  

No, this is not a tale of triumph over adversity.  I did not triumph. I had to accept the fact that I was not capable of this project for many reasons.  Lack of focus, and hands that are stiff and obstinate being the main ones.  However, it is a tale of recognizing what you are good at and focusing on that.  I am a good driver and I love to do it.   I knew that Bruce was doing a great deal of driving, picking up masks, delivering materials to sewers and masks to organizations that needed them.  I offered to help with the driving and he gratefully accepted my offer.   I am very confident in my ability to drive a car, and I am grateful to still have the opportunity to help make a difference.