P is for Pet

Your favourite PET you've had.

I love cats.  I've had a lot of cats over my lifetime and they were all special and had their own unique personalities and habits.  But one particular cat really touched my heart and I think I would have to say he is my favourite.   Teddy doesn't live with me anymore, I had to move and couldn't bring him with me, so he lives with my best friend up in Barrie.  I rarely see him now but she sends me pictures and he looks happy and healthy.  She loves him as much as I do.

So what makes Teddy so special?  What makes him stand out from all the others?  He has personality plus.  He is a black and white cat and he's just beautiful as you can see in the picture.  When I got him from the SPCA  I had to sign a form saying I was okay with a vocal cat.  I figured this was standard procedure so I signed.   Little did I know what I was getting myself into.   Vocal is an understatement.  Teddy pretty much talks non-stop.  Except when he's sleeping.   His constant meowing was nerve-wracking at times and I would just tell him to shut up.  He wouldn't.  He had a lot to say.  And it wasn't that he needed anything like food or water, he just needed constant attention.   If I had my back to him while I worked at my desk, he would put one paw on my back and chatter away at me.  Thankfully he wasn't noisy at night so there was no sleep disruption...except right when I got into bed and then he would torment me with his other little quirks.   

When I closed my eyes he would stare at me...I could feel his eyes on me and he got close enough that his whiskers would tickle my face.  If I opened my eyes he would just meow.  I never pet him once I was in bed because I didn't want to develop a habit that he would no doubt exploit as much as he could.  So I would turn my back on him, but, not to be outdone, he would jump over me to get to my face.  Eventually, he would settle and we would sleep quite peacefully.   Unless I put the covers up around my neck and he couldn't see my arms.  It drove him crazy!!  He'd jump back and forth over my head pawing at the covers trying to find my arms.  Where were they?  How could I pet him without arms??  How could I put food in his dish??  He wouldn't stop until I showed him my arms.  

If I had an overnight guest Teddy was not happy.  He insisted on sleeping between us.  There was no room in the bed, he is a very large cat and I am a large person

and eventually, I would have to put him out of the room.  He was good about that though.  No yowling or scratching at the door.

Teddy always seemed to me like he was a human trapped in a cat suit.   I almost expected him to one day take the suit off and reveal himself.   But that's weird, right?   

I miss him every day and wish I could have kept him.   I saw him last summer and when he saw me he flopped over on his back and I rubbed his tummy for a long time.  I am glad he is being loved and cared for.   But I would love to have him back with me.

O is for Old

 What "OLD-person" thing do you do?

Well I am an old person, so everything I do is an Old person thing right?   But in the spirit of this question will list a few stereotypical things I do.

Repeat the same stories over again without realizing I am doing it.

Assess the bathroom situation before accepting invitations.

Turn the television volume up to deafening levels.

Put my pajamas on right after supper, or just wear them all day.

Screen phone calls.

Complain about kids these days (get off my lawn)

Groan when I stand up or sit down.

Leak

Appreciate the value of a good comfortable pair of shoes fashion be damned.

There are probably more but I can't remember them.  Oh yeah, that's another thing, 

Can't remember what I had for breakfast or why I came into a room but can remember the names and birthdates of my childhood friends.

None of these things are terrible, they are just part of life and I deal with it all in good humour.

N is for nation

If you had to move to a different NATION, which would you choose?

I would choose to move to the United Kingdom, probably Ireland or Wales.  I would ideally have said Newfoundland, but the question asked for a different NATION.  I am very drawn to the rugged climate of these places.   I love the idea of living in a small village in Ireland. Maybe I would get a job in a pub, as a bartender...or a singer.  I have a romantic notion of a close-knit community welcoming me in.  I would have a big dog and roam the hills in a cable knit sweater and wellingtons.   Within months I would be speaking with the Irish brogue just like the natives.  My cheeks would be rosy and my hair in a long gray braid.   I could be happy there, I am pretty sure, in spite of the dampness.  The beauty of my surroundings would outweigh anything else.

M is for Mars

If MARS were inhabitable would you accept a one-way ticket?

No.

I don't like to fly.

L is for Law

 What LAW would you create if you knew everyone would be forced to obey?

There are so many, where do I start?   I would like to create a law and have it enforced that forbids all things that pollute the environment.  ALL things no matter how inconvenient it makes our lives.  The planet is in danger and we rely on it to live.   So we need to make sacrifices.  I know there are anti-pollution laws in place, but they need to be stricter and relentlessly enforced.   I know what people are thinking if they are reading this.  What about our human rights?  I don't want to live in a police state.  And on and on.  But think about it...if we don't have clean water and air and places to grow our food...NOTHING else matters.   I know such a law is not possible, but the question didn't say anything about whether it would be possible.

I would also like a law that bans LEAF BLOWERS.   They are huge noise polluters and air polluters as well because they spew fumes.   And they are not good for anything but spreading dirt and debris all over the place.   And isn't there some way to make them quieter?  Men and their penis-extending toys...honestly. 

K is for Kid

 What do you miss most about being a KID?

The thing I miss most about being a kid is being healthy.   I miss the days when my body could play all day and not cripple me with pain.   I miss not having to deal with debilitating fatigue and brain fog.  I miss being able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight or having a digestive meltdown.  I miss that freedom of not having to plan my days around my energy level.   I long for the joy of riding my bike all over town and still being able to walk when I get off. I miss being able to go to be really early and knowing I will sleep all night.   I miss being able to make plans for an outing without worrying about where the bathrooms are.  I miss bathing once a week without worrying about offending others.  I miss being really skinny and wish I had appreciated it more back then.  I miss the life that was so much simpler back then, before internet, before computers, before social media.  I miss penny candy.   I miss my Nan.  I miss not having adult worries like rent, food, utilities, etc.   

I guess it seems that I miss a lot.  But there is so much I don't miss.

I don't miss being afraid of my father's rage.

I don't miss feeling unloved and neglected.

I don't miss taking care of the house and my younger brother while my mother worked.  I was 10.

I don't miss lying in bed at night and have my rotting teeth breaking apart while I lay terrified I was going to die of tooth decay.

I don't miss being afraid of the dark.

I don't miss my brother.

I don't miss my father.

Anyway, I guess I really didn't answer the question properly but there are no rules really and no one is reading this, so who gives a shit.

I is for Ice Cream

 What JUNK food item could you eat every day?

I love ICE CREAM!   I could eat it every meal every day for the rest of my life and be quite happy.  I am a frequent visitor of Dairy Queen although not as frequent as I would like because my partner actually has some self-control and restraint which she is trying to encourage me to have.   But she knows I can be bribed with ice cream... My favourite Dairy Queen treats are caramel sundaes, SKOR Blizzards, and just a plain ice cream cone.   Just writing this makes me want to get in the car and head over to the DQ right now.   I love the smoothness of the soft-serve ice cream.  I love the combination of ice cream and cone together in my mouth.   I love the bits of SKOR in the Blizzard, and the generous amounts of caramel in the sundae.   

My passion for ice cream isn't only limited to DQ though.  I love to go down to Van Wagner's beach and get an ice cream cone from Hutch's and find a place to sit and watch people go by as I enjoy the delicious cool sweetness of a Black Cherry ice cream cone.   I was heartbroken when they switched their supplier from Stoney Creek Dairy to Nestle.  I try to boycott Nestle as much as possible.  I stayed away for a while but my passion for ice cream overrode my resolve.  

It's not just a summer thing either.  I know most people think of ice cream as a summer treat.  Not me.  I am a year-round fan.   Even when the weather is really cold I can still enjoy a treat.  

I is for Idiosyncrasy or Insight

 What IDIOSYNCRASY or INSIGHT has been useful to you, either overall, or on a particular occasion?

This was a tough one.  I have lots of idiosyncrasies but I can't say that any of them have been useful to me, in fact, most of pretty annoying to other people.    For instance, I am a leg shaker.  My right leg is almost always bouncing up and down whenever I am in a social situation that involves sitting at a table.  It can be very distracting but it's almost impossible for me to stop doing it.   

I am also prone to bursting into song at any moment and I hum when I am with someone and conversation lags and there's nothing to distract me from the uncomfortable silence.  

I could go on, but I risk alienating anyone reading this.

So...INSIGHT.   I guess the biggest insight I have that helps me overall is the knowledge that most people are more concerned about what I might be thinking of them than they are thinking about me.  This helps a lot with overthinking which I am so very good at.   I have even apologized to people for something I said or did that I was worried had offended them.  And almost every time, the person has no memory of the incident.  I have learned over the years not to concern myself with what other people think of me because, as the saying goes, "those that mind don't matter, those that matter don't mind".   It doesn't always work, I still fret about impressing people I really like, and I can be over accommodating, but I no longer give a shit about the opinions of people not in my circle.

H is for Holiday

How would people celebrate a HOLIDAY named in your HONOUR?

I really love to laugh and make other people laugh.  I don't think there is enough laughter in the world these days so a holiday in my honour would be dedicated to laughter.  Nothing on t.v. but sitcoms and stand-up comedy.  Nothing on social media but good news and funny memes.  People would be encouraged to put funny signs on their lawns and dress up in crazy outfits.  But NO pranks.  I don't think pranks are funny for the one being pranked...I don't like them at all.  They are mean-spirited.  No depressing stuff, no sadness, no bad news.  For one day.  I think it would do us a world of good.

G is for Gift

 What GIFT have you re-gifted? If none, name a gift you would re-gift, if received.

I don't very often receive actual gifts because I always ask for gift cards.  Gift cards are my favourite gifts because being on a fixed income, I don't very often get the opportunity to go out and buy something for myself that I really want.   

I did regift something I got for Christmas this year though.  But can you really call giving it to Value Village regifting?    I got a very tiny puzzle in a tube.   It was impossible.  After a few frustrating days, I finally had to give up and call failure on it.   Luckily the person who gave it to me was very understanding.

Something I would definitely regift would be anything that smelled heavily of perfume.  So bubble, lotions, scented candles etc would have to go because perfume gives me terrible headaches.  Also, a shrimp ring would be quickly regifted because I would die if I ate it.  

F is for Film

What FILM could you watch over and over?

Hands down, A League Of Their Own, about a woman's major league baseball team that was formed during World War II.  I love this movie for so many reasons.   The characters are interesting and well cast. I loved Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell together, the chemistry between them was dynamic.   Tom Hanks as always, was brilliant as the drunken coach who did not want to be there.   I love baseball and there was a lot of really good baseball in this movie.  The movie was relatable and took you back to a time when things were simpler, though not so easy for women.   I have seen this movie many, many, times and I still cry from the scene where one of the players learns her husband died in the war, right through to when Dottie's husband comes to pick her up at the boarding house.  I know what's coming and it gets to me every time. I highly recommend this movie to anyone whether you are a baseball fan or not.

E is for Excellent

  What is your most EXCELLENT memory?

My most excellent memory is of the weekend I turned 60.  Belinda and our friend Liz and my best friend Lesley planned a surprise weekend for me that I will never forget.   It started Saturday morning with brunch at Cora, my favourite place to eat breakfast.   Belinda, Liz her husband Dave and her mother Trudy were there and we had a great time.   I knew I was going somewhere overnight that night, but I didn't know where.  I only knew I had to bring a bathing suit.   I tried to think where it could be but nothing seemed plausible.   We came back from brunch and loaded the car for the trip and Belinda said she had to pick something up at Liz's.   We begged Liz to come with us and she said she'd go ask her husband and 2 seconds later she came out with her suitcase!   Belinda was standing behind the car putting our destination in WAZE without me seeing.   So there I was driving, not knowing where I was going.  

We headed towards Niagara and I was thinking we were going to spend the night in Niagara Falls which is always a lot of fun. I thought maybe we were going to a spa.  I guessed out loud a few times but my companions were silent.   So I kept driving.  Then we took the highway that leads to the border and I thought, maybe we were going to New York.  I saw signs for Great Wolf Lodge, which was some place I always wanted to go, but quickly dismissed that as being way too expensive.   Imagine my surprise when WAZE told me to turn into the parking lot of Great Wolf Lodge!!!  I was SO surprised and excited.   As I was standing in the lobby waiting for Belinda to check us in I saw a bunch of balloons heading towards me...the person carrying them moved the balloons and I saw it was my best friend Lesley!  Another excellent surprise.   We had such a good time that weekend, going down all the water slides during the day and eating junk food and playing board games that night.  I had no idea any of this was going on because Belinda and I were dealing with her breast cancer and I had no expectations of doing anything special at all.

The saddest part of the weekend was that Belinda was recovering from a post surgery infection and couldn't get wet, so she missed out on the water slides.   But she was a good sport and we had fun anyway.  

Excellent memory.

D is for Dog

 D Your favourite breed of DOG?

I'm really a cat person, but there are three types of dogs that I just love.  Miniature schnauzers.  They are cute as hell, smarter than most humans I know, and just delightful to have around.   Their biggest flaw, they are barkers...yappers really.   And don't ever give them a squeaky toy, you will never ever hear the end of that squeaking.  I had a miniature schnauzer for a few years.  His name was Spencer and even though he belonged to my partner, he immediately bonded with me and I became his "person".  Spencer followed me everywhere even into the bathroom.  We had a little routine.  Spencer's fur was very prone to matting and I took it as my job to keep the little mat balls under control.  When Spencer followed me into the bathroom I would take out the scissors and start snipping.   He didn't seem to mind at all, even when I would flip him upside down and get close to his "package" with the scissors.  Our favourite game was "hide the squeaky corn cob stuffy."  He played with this incessantly and drove me crazy. So when I had had enough I would hide it.  Spencer would stare intently at me for hours if I let him, just waiting for me to produce that stuffy.  Usually I took pity on him and gave it back.

I have never had a boxer or a golden retriever.   I just love the boxer "who's a good boy" face.  They always have that look of trying so hard to be good but always being in trouble.   And golden retrievers are just really nice dogs, gentle, loyal, and smart.  But then, I guess that describes most dogs when you think about it.

C is for Cool

 C What did you think was COOL when you were young, and now: not so much.

When I was young I used to think it was cool to get drunk at every social event.   Because I was quite thin, this didn't require a lot of alcohol.  I was a "sniff the cork" drunk that was always the first one to get rowdy at parties.   Rowdy involved lots of ribald humour and seductive behaviour.  I was shameless and bold.   I usually ended up throwing up by the end of the night.   I also thought it was cool to talk about how drunk I had been when talking about the party the next day.   I thought I was hilarious and the life of the party.  And when I was young, I probably was, we were all the same, living to get drunk or high.   But as I got older funny and outrageous became pathetic and embarrassing. I realized people were laughing at me, not with me.  I learned that alcohol was not my friend.  It didn't make me more likeable, or funny.  I lost friends and I destroyed relationships.   So I stopped drinking altogether.   It wasn't cool anymore.

B is for book

Favourite BOOK ever read

I am an avid reader so it's hard to pick my favourite book ever read because I don't remember them all ...and there are a lot.  A lot of bad ones, and a lot of good ones.  So I went to Goodreads and chose a book that I had given 5 stars.   The one I, ironically, is called The Giver of Stars by JoJo Moyes.   This book was an enjoyable read from start to finish and when it was over I found myself missing the characters.  

 Alice Wright marries handsome American Bennett Van Cleve hoping to escape her stifling life in England. But small-town Kentucky quickly proves equally claustrophobic, especially living alongside her overbearing father-in-law. So when a call goes out for a team of women to deliver books as part of Eleanor Roosevelt’s new traveling library, Alice signs on enthusiastically.

I loved the setting, a small town in the Kentucky mountains, with its interesting characters.  There is something for everyone in this book, romance, mystery, inspiration, violence.   There are several storylines and they are all intriguing on their own.   This novel explores the repressed roles of women and their struggle for respect and independence.  It deals with racism, corruption and domestic violence.  The characters all come into their own throughout the novel.  It's just a really good read.  Well written and a definite page turner.

A is for Animal

 

What non-traditional ANIMAL might you like to have for a pet?

I think it would be fun to have a pet goat.   Imagine looking out in the backyard and seeing a goat frolicking around happily both legs off the ground, in their goat way.   I would build a really amazing house for it...him...(because it's a boy in my dreams) and it would have a ramp because goats love to go up and down ramps.  And there would be things for him to climb on.  Basically, the whole backyard would be dedicated to the goat.  And no matter how low I was feeling I would just have to look outside and watch my goat playing in his yard and making that adorable maaaa-maaaa sound.   I could imagine he was saying mama and who could feel sad when that is happening?    He would keep the grass trimmed for me and fertilize it too. 

But wait, why stop there?  What's better than a goat? TWO GOATS!!  A boy and a girl, and maybe there could be kids eventually.  I could have a goat hobby farm.   But wait!  What's better than goat families?  FAINTING GOATS!  Yes, it's a thing.  There are goats that look just like ordinary goats...until you startle them and then they faint dead away!   It's hilarious.   But of course, being an adult, I understand that a fainting goat is not a toy and purposely startling them to watch them faint would be totally inappropriate.  

But wait!  What's better than fainting goats?  FAINTING GOATS WEARING PAJAMAS!!  Yes, that's a thing too.  Look it up on YouTube.   They are freaking adorable.

So there you have it.  Maybe someday you can come visit my goat hobby farm and I might just let you startle the goats.  Once.